


What's in a Serum?

by purplestarfish



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Outing, Civil War Totally Had a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figure Steve Rogers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Transphobia, No Infinity War, Not Canon Compliant, Outing, Scott Lang is an Asshole in This, Trans Peter Parker, Trans Steve Rogers, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 15:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16287443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplestarfish/pseuds/purplestarfish
Summary: “Okay, that answers that question… so we need butter, sugar, vanilla extract, flour… can you grab the flour?” he asked Peter, pointing. “It should be in that cupboard above the stove."In hindsight, that was the moment when everything went wrong.Timing never had been Steve’s strong suit.---In which being trans post-spider bite is harder than it sounds.





	What's in a Serum?

**Author's Note:**

> See the tags for warnings, and notes at the end of the work for more detailed warnings.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Steve stretched as he rode his way down to the kitchen on the elevator, trying to wake himself up the rest of the way. He’d been up late making sure Tony didn’t get so focused on his work that he forgot to eat, so morning was hitting him harder than usual today.

 

When the elevator doors opened and he walked into the kitchen, he was happy to see that most of the Avengers were already there, making what appeared to be enough food to feed an army. That was good – Steve was starving, and the idea of cooking something from scratch right now wasn’t exactly appealing.

 

“Morning,” he said to the room at large, making a beeline for the coffee pot.

 

“Hey,” Natasha called from where she was sitting on the couch nearby, taking Clint on in a game of Mario Kart. “Any idea when Tony’s gonna be up? His kid’s here.”

 

She cocked her head a few feet to the right of Steve, and he was surprised to notice that Tony’s intern, whom he only knew as Spider-Man, was indeed standing at the stove making eggs and bacon.

 

First of all, God bless him. Second of all, how had Steve not noticed him when he’d walked by? He must be more tired than he thought.

 

Either way, common courtesy was in order.

 

“Hi, I’m Steve,” he said, turning towards the boy and offering his hand to shake. The kid took it, looking up at Steve in poorly-concealed awe.

 

“Captain America, sir,” he answered, voice shaky. “I’m – I’m P-Peter Parker.”

 

Steve smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Peter,” he said. “And you can call me Steve. Did Tony have a meeting with you this morning?”

 

Peter blushed and nodded his head. “Mr. Stark and I were supposed to be working on my suit. But it’s okay – I told everyone, I know he’s busy, I can just go –“

 

“Woah, woah there,” Steve interrupted, recognizing that Peter was ramping himself up. “You don’t have to go. This is my fault, anyway. Tony hadn’t slept in days, and I pretty well forced him into bed around three last night. I wouldn’t let him set an alarm. He tried to argue with me – now I know why.”

 

Peter looked relieved at that, and Steve felt guilty at the thought that the kid had been waiting here, trying to get along with a group of hungry Avengers but secretly worrying that he wasn’t important enough for Tony to remember. He resolved to make it up to him. But how? Steve had never been as good with kids as the press gave him credit for – sure, he could kiss some babies for the camera, but that wasn’t the same as knowing what was important to your average teenager. Or not-so-average, in Peter’s case. He was a superhero, after all.

 

“Well, while we wait for him, how ‘bout you and me do something together?” he suggested, eyes shooting around the room for options. “We could… bake cookies? Bruce, you can take over the eggs and bacon, right?”

 

Bruce, who was sitting at the counter and just finishing off a bowl of cereal, rolled his eyes but nodded. Sam snorted beside him.

 

Peter, for his part, looked confused but willing to go along with this (probably stupid) idea of Steve’s. He handed the spatula he was using over to Bruce as he rounded the counter, and nodded at Steve nervously.

 

“Okay, cookies,” Peter said. “What do we need?”

 

Steve was already looking up a recipe on his phone – which he could only get away with since Tony wasn’t here. He was still pretending not to know how to work it when Tony was around, just to see the joy in his eyes as he explained – once again – the wonders of modern-day technology.

 

“All right…,” he said. “What kind do we want? Oatmeal raisin? Chocolate chip? Snickerdoodle?”

 

“Chocolate chip!” Natasha called from in front of the TV, simultaneously throwing her controller in the air in triumph as her character apparently won a race.

 

He looked up at Peter and smirked. “Okay, that answers that question… so we need butter, sugar, vanilla extract, flour… can you grab the flour?” he asked Peter, pointing. “It should be in that cupboard above the stove.”

 

In hindsight, that was the moment when everything went wrong.

 

Timing never had been Steve’s strong suit.

 

Right as Peter was reaching up to grab the flour from the cupboard, Scott walked into the kitchen, looking like he’d been out drinking last night and hadn’t been to bed yet. And of course his eyes just happened to land on the small strip of exposed skin around Peter’s waist from where he was reaching his arms up towards the cupboard.

 

“Hey, Pete, is that a little bit of chub I see around those hips?” he teased, and Steve had the sudden horrifying fear that he was going to walk over and give him a pinch. He didn’t, luckily, but it didn’t seem to matter. Peter turned bright red and pulled his hand down, leaving the flour where it was in favor of covering his stomach.

 

“I…” he stammered, which had the unfortunate result of just egging Scott on further.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be one of the, like, super- superheroes? You got hit with some kind of serum like Cap, right? Shouldn’t it be impossible for you to have an ounce of fat on your body? What went wrong?”

 

“Stop being a dick, Scott,” Steve warned. He was trying to be casual about it, but he couldn’t help but notice that there were tears forming in Peter’s eyes, and he frankly wasn’t sure how Scott hadn’t noticed himself. Also, how does anyone not know that you don’t make fun of teenagers’ bodies? They’re basically 10% functioning human and 90% body issues at that age.

 

“I’m just teasing him, Steve, it’s fine,” Scott brushed him off. He turned to Peter. “It’s cool, right kid? Just some good-natured fun. Hell, Natasha has hips like that, and she could take any of us,” he snickered.

 

Steve was momentarily distracted as a knife flew past Scott’s nose, missing him by mere millimetres, and implanted itself in fridge door.

 

He wasn’t distracted enough that he didn’t notice, though, when Peter pushed past Scott and ran for the elevator bank, nor did he fail to notice the way Peter’s hands were grappling at his face or the hitched sob that came from the elevator as the doors slid closed.

 

Steve saw red. In seconds, he was holding Scott up against the fridge by the throat, his head halfway between the knife still sticking out of the door on one side, and Steve’s raised fist on the other.

 

“Tell me right now what the fuck is wrong with you, before I bash your brains in,” he spat.

 

Scott looked like a deer caught in headlights – he clearly hadn’t been expecting any consequences for his idiocy, but he should’ve known better. Steve didn’t like bullies.

 

“Woah, dude, I’m sorry!” he said, raising his hands in submission. “I didn’t think the kid’d take it so hard – what was his problem, anyway? I was just ribbin’ him.”

 

“He’s a fucking _kid_ , that’s what!” Steve yelled. Sam and Bruce were at his sides, trying to calm him down, but he had no interest in that at the moment.

 

“Language!” he heard from just outside the room, as apparently Tony picked that moment to come downstairs. His amiable tone shifted quickly as he rounded the corner and saw the scene taking place in the kitchen.

 

“Woah, Cap! Babe, what’s wrong?” he called, rushing over to Steve’s side and putting a gentle hand on his raised arm. Unable to resist his partner, Steve yielded and turned to face him. Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief behind him.

 

“This – _asshole_ – “ Steve pointed at Scott, “thought it was a good idea to make fun of your intern’s body.”

 

Tony’s eyes widened, then he frowned in confusion.

 

“Wait, Peter’s here?” he looked around, then stopped in his tracks as he presumably remembered his plans for the day. “Oh, shit, I was supposed to meet him…”

 

“That’s not the point,” Steve snapped, more forcefully than he intended. He consciously shifted into less aggressive body language.

 

“This guy,” he continued, “decided to tell Peter he wasn’t a proper superhero because he has fat on his hips. And then he compared them to Natasha’s, and Peter ran off crying, and –”

 

_Oh, shit._

 

_Oh._

_Shit._

 

He recognized that reaction.

 

Steve closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. _How had he not realized?_ This was so much worse than he thought.

 

He was going to fucking _murder_ Scott.

 

When he eventually opened his eyes, he saw that Tony was looking at him with an almost panicked look on his face. So he knew too. Or he’d figured it out when Steve had, at least. Not surprising, Steve had spent enough time explaining this shit to Tony in the past.

 

“I should –” they said at the same time. Then Tony seemed to realize Steve was the better option in this case, as much as Tony might know the kid better.

 

“Go,” he nodded, stepping aside for Steve to move past.

 

Steve moved determinedly for the elevators, slowing only slightly to squeeze Tony’s fingers as he walked past. He’d completely forgotten Scott and the rest of the group – that didn’t matter right now. Tony could come up with an excuse for them.

 

It wasn’t until he was in the elevator that he realized he didn’t actually know where he was going.

 

“JARVIS?” he called, looking up to the top right corner of the elevator. Tony had told him countless times that JARVIS wasn’t located in any specific place, but not looking somewhere still felt rude.

 

As per usual, JARVIS anticipated his question.

 

“Peter is sitting on the roof, Captain,” he announced, and the elevator began moving in that direction.

 

“Thanks, JARVIS.”

 

When the elevator opened up onto the roof, Steve was simultaneously saddened and relieved to find Peter sitting, shoulders hunched in on himself, at the edge of the rooftop. At least he was still here. Steve walked over, careful to make just enough noise that he wouldn’t startle Peter, and sat himself down beside him, legs dangling over the edge of the tower.

 

He wasn’t sure what he should say, so he waited long seconds for Peter to speak.

 

“My suit’s in the lab,” came the kid’s resigned voice, finally. “I don’t have my web slingers.”

 

Steve sighed. _Poor kid._

 

“Peter,” he said, hoping that if he started, the right words would come, the magical ones that made everything okay. But they didn’t. They never did.

 

So instead he just continued, “I’m so sorry for what Scott said. Really, he was being an asshole, and there was no excuse.”

 

Peter just shrugged. “He was drunk,” he said, like that meant all was forgiven, even though Peter was clearly still hurting.

 

“Peter, I – “

 

“Why did it have to be you?” Peter exclaimed suddenly. “I mean, for – you’re Captain America! I can’t talk to you about this. Can’t you just send Sam up or something? He’s basically a therapist, right? Or like, anyone who’s not the literal embodiment of American values?”

 

Well, that was surprising. Granted, he’d just met the kid, but he liked to think people knew where he stood on the things that mattered.

 

“You do know Tony and I are dating, right?” he asked, then wondered if maybe that was a secret and he shouldn’t have shared it. But Peter just shrugged again like he was conceding the point.

 

“I guess…” he said. “But I still can’t talk to you about this stuff, okay? You wouldn’t even know what a trans person is.” He whispered the end of the sentence so quietly that Steve was pretty sure his enhanced hearing was the only reason he picked up on it.

 

“Peter,” Steve hedged. “I think I have a much better idea of what’s going on in your head right now than you think.”

 

_Oh, no._ There the kid went, tearing up again. Steve might have known what was wrong, but that didn’t mean he knew what to do about. Being an adult was hard. Though, he supposed it beat being a teenager.

 

“You don’t,” Peter’s voice cracked. “You have no idea, you don’t understand. No one does.”

 

All right, Steve was going to have to take the plunge.

 

“Look, Peter… I know you don’t believe me, but trust me, I’m about the only person in the world who knows exactly how you feel right now.” Before Peter could dismiss him, he continued. “When I was growing up, we didn’t… well, we didn’t talk about things the way people are starting to now. We didn’t even really have words for it. But not having the right words doesn’t stop you from knowing who you are, right?”

 

Peter squinted his eyes at him, confused. Steve dug out his phone, and scrolled through his gallery for the photo he was looking for. When he found it, he showed it to Peter – the scanned copy of an old black-and-white photograph Peggy had still had tucked away in an old album. He watched as Peter looked at the photo, unsure what he was seeing at first, before his eyes lit up in recognition and he looked at Steve, confused but maybe just a little bit hopeful.

 

Steve nodded. “It’s my top surgery,” he said. “My mom took me to see a specialist when I was seventeen. Not actually certain whether it was legal, but… I was so happy after. God, I loved this picture. Finally looked how I wanted to. You know, more or less.”

 

Peter was just staring at him, wide-eyed, so Steve continued.

 

“Look, Peter, the… the serum they gave me, in the army – it’s obviously not the same as what was in the spider that bit you, and... it was full of so many hormones, you don’t even want to know. It made me look like this, and I was so, _so_ happy with that. But – it didn’t change everything. You know what I mean?”

 

Peter nodded.

 

“I didn’t… It took me a long time to come to terms with it. More than 70 years, technically,” he smirked, but it came out looking more self-deprecating than anything. “I just kept thinking – if this serum’s supposed to be some kind of cure-all, why couldn’t it make me right? How come it could fix the asthma, and the fever, and the heart palpitations, but it couldn’t fix the one thing I really cared about? And it made me – it made me think maybe I was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t a real boy after all, if even the serum didn’t think I should be.”

 

By this point, Steve was choking back tears – he hadn’t told anyone this part, not even Tony, not even when they’d talked about this stuff. But he needed to get through this – for Peter.

 

“When I woke up from the ice,” he continued, “after things started to settle down, I talked to Bruce. I asked him if there were things the serum might not be able to fix. He didn’t know what I was talking about, of course, but he explained it to me. Told me that the serum was a medicine – a really strong medicine, but still just a medicine. And that it was designed to cure anything the doctors could think of, but – well, he said if there was stuff that no one knew about in the ‘40s they might not have had any reason to include it.”

 

Steve sighed. “What I’m trying to say, Peter, is that the serum is created by people – or in your case, by a radioactive spider, I’m not really sure the science behind it, I guess you’d know better than me… but it’s not magic. It’s just science. It’s designed to target specific things, and so it might not fix everything you don’t like about yourself. But that doesn’t make you any less valid, okay? Not to curse in front of a kid, but fuck Scott, and fuck those doctors from the ‘40s who didn’t know trans people even existed, and fuck everyone who thinks you or I are anything less than men. Okay? It took me a really long time to accept this part of me, and I really want it to take less time for you. I want the world to be better for you.”

 

He looked at Peter, who had tears streaming down his face, and he knew that it was a good reflection of his own. He smiled through them, and felt more than saw Peter fling himself into his lap, sobbing into his shirt.

 

He rubbed circles into Peter’s back, and gave him the time and space to cry. It took a long while, but eventually, Peter’s breathing started to even out, and he pulled back from Steve, wiping his eyes.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I… just… thank you. Ever since the spider… well, I thought maybe I’d just been faking it the whole time. Like I got to Hogwarts, and the stairs to the boys’ dormitories turned into a slide or something. You don’t know what that means but… thanks.”

 

It didn’t sound like Peter was going to say anything else, so Steve just reached out and held his hand.

 

“So,” Steve said finally, trying to bring the mood up a little. “Do you want to go back in? We’ve still got some chocolate chip cookies to make. And Tony’s up, he’ll be wanting to know that you’re okay.”

 

Peter froze.

 

“Does Mr. Stark… does he know?” he asked timidly. _Oh. Right_.

 

“… I think so,” Steve answered carefully. “But Peter, Tony’s been dating me for months. He’s not going to look at you any differently, I promise.”

 

Peter didn’t look all the way reassured.

 

“Do you want me to take you down to the lab? We can meet up with him together if you want?”

 

Peter nodded.

 

“Can I…” he hesitated. “Can I go wash my face first?”

 

Steve smiled, nodding, and ushered Peter inside to get cleaned up.

 

Maybe fifteen minutes later, they were stepping out of the elevator into the lab, Steve’s arm around Peter’s shoulders. Steve had texted Tony telling him to meet them there.

 

He felt Peter take a deep breath beside him. Tony was facing the other way, his nose buried in some kind of futuristic gadgetry or other that he wouldn’t even bother trying to explain to Steve. He heard when the elevator doors shut, though, and spoke up without turning to look at them.

 

“Peter?” he called.

 

Peter cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, Mr. Stark, sir.”

 

Tony waved him over with one arm.

 

“Get your butt over here,” he said. “I’m working on your suit. I have some new designs that I think will improve the range of your web slingers, and we need to talk about the changes you were suggesting for the reconnaissance drone. Also, do you need a binder built into the suit? I don’t know if you wear one, but if you do a built-in version would be safer. There’s also an issue with the GPS tracking system on the Spider-Tracers – it should be an easy glitch to fix, but I wanted you to see if you could do it yourself before I step in. Training and whatnot. Also…”

 

Peter was smiling up at Steve in awe. Steve smiled back and gave him a gentle push, sending him off to help Tony with the new adjustments.

 

He knew he should leave, but he couldn’t help but watch for just a couple of minutes as the two of them worked. He’d only known Peter for a couple of hours at most, but after the couple of hours they’d had… standing here looking at Peter and Tony working away – it felt like family.

**Author's Note:**

> Detailed warnings: Peter is trans, and unhappy with his body after the bite. Scott makes several rude/transphobic comments about his hips, and it brings up a lot of his fears, also inadvertently outing Peter to at least Steve and Tony. Steve sits with him and talks about his own process of dealing with being trans post-serum, and it helps a lot.
> 
>  
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


End file.
